stars, sex and nudity buzz : 06/24/2012

Dominik García-Lorido

The 'Magic City' star has severed ties to Twitter and Facebook
Age 29
Accomplishments  Star as Mercedes Lazaro in the TV series Magic City, set in 1950's Miami ; has appeared alongside her father, actor Andy Garcia, in films including City Island
Base Los Angeles

What’s the first information you consume in the morning?
I used to be on Twitter, so I’d get news from that. But I got rid of it because it was too addicting. Now I don’t really have a routine—I just get my thoughts together, then I’ll go to CNN or ESPN.

What do you read or watch or listen to at the breakfast table?
I like watching The View! All the arguing—I love that.

What occupies your mind in the car, on the subway, train or bus?
I almost never listen to the radio, but if I do, I listen to KDAY, which is old-school hip-hop. Usually I listen to my iPod—a bunch of different playlists, like classic rock, oldies, a lot of Beatles and Rolling Stones.

Are you a TV junkie or on an airtime-restricted diet?
I don’t watch a lot of TV. I’ll record something to watch at night before I go to bed, or I’ll watch SportsCenter on ESPN—I’m a big basketball fan, Lakers especially.

What other shows do you watch, and how: TV, laptop or tablet?
I record Californication, which is what I’m watching right now. I wish I had recorded all of Shameless because I’ve caught it a few times and loved it. I’ll always want to get into a show but then forget to record it. On long plane rides, I like watching entire series on my laptop.

Before bed, do you bite into a novel, graze on Twitter or fast until morning?
Reading is definitely better because watching TV keeps me up. When I was living in Miami, I didn’t have Internet in my room and the TV only had a few channels, and it was so much easier to go to sleep.

Which is more nutritious: print or Web?
I want to say print, but the Web is just so much more efficient. I wish I was one of those people who reads the paper every morning, but I guess I’m part of the generation that always goes straight to the Web.

Give us the skinny on your favorite app.
I love the NBA Game Time app. It’s the best—even if I’m not able to watch a game, I can still keep up with it. The app lets you listen or watch game highlights, and it has all the stats and standings.

What’s your biggest digital indulgence?
I’m not a big gadget person, but my iPhone is with me at all times.

With such a bloated media universe, how do you cut out the fat? 
When the New Year hit, I cut out Twitter and Facebook—stuff that I felt like I was always on for no reason. There are other ways to get information. Our access to [all this stuff] isn’t going to go away, but we can choose how much to have it around. 

(after recent spate of e-mails from folks unhappy with my bigoted, borderline racist and slanderous opinions…Don’t want to get into a legal tangle so…. The following article is purely work of fiction and springs from a demented and fucked-up mind fried by years of self-medication)

Dominik García-Lorido lack of proper nudity is one of the issues Starz have with Mitch Glazer. Certain shortcomings have Starz doubting whether it was wise to quickly renew the show even before the first season premiere after being impressed by Glazer’s original 20-episode draft. Most writers delivers 16-to-20 episodes length drafts later divided into seasons on a cable series.

The moderate success of the series based in 1950/60’s is mostly attributed to female viewers/subscribers who are weirdly obsessed with that era (maybe it’s the overly done make-up or wavy hairdo) and Marilyn Monroe in general. Monroe is a tragic figure and symbol for many girls – past and present – and female artists.

Starz’s major carp revolves around the tepid plot, the glaring contrast of cinematography (dark hues) when it comes to sex/nude scenes and lack of visual sex appeal from likes of Olga Kurylenko, Elena Satine and especially Dominik. The latter plays a pivotal role in second half (second season) of the season. They are sorely disappointed by Glazer lack of backbone in dealing with nudity clauses. The initial script (which I can’t reproduce here. It will get my cousin in trouble. It has his signature on the pdf) was altered to work around the three girls reservation about the graphic nudity.

Remember Mitch first sold the script to CBS in 2005 but the network was and is still focused on crime procedural shows. Eventually it ends up at Starz thanks to CEO Chris Albrecht. Starz been searching for a series to match Mad Men success but spice it up with sex, sleaziness and outrageous nudity ala Spartacus. While Glazer delivers in some aspect (thanks to Jessica Marais), Starz believes he was too submissive in agreeing to other trio demand for ‘subtle’ nudity. They’re particularly pissed with Dominik non-nudity clause for first season.

The original script supposed to have full-frontal by Satine and Dominik. Olga has officially become a nudity dodger.

[1] Elena Satine was tailor-made for the role of the hooker. The Georgian royalty was in fact so nervous about doing her first and subsequent nude scenes she booze it up just to take the edge off. The anxiety seen on face of Satine during nude/sex scenes perfectly mirrors her character Judi Silver struggles as a prostitute. Yet during negotiations she managed to wriggle out of required nude scenes thanks to Mitch genial management style (the show-runner is also very open to script discussions and altering it to suit the performers). Satine’s sudden cold feet have infuriated the executives and it seems her character is in danger of being killed off in season two. It well could be a win-win situation as Satine is not too keen about the sex scenes and is worried she will be baring everything again (full nudity at the start of season finale episode didn’t make it to the final cut) and this time no edit-outs to accommodate other plot-lines. – supposed to go full frontal in season premiere when she is dragged from the bed but surprise – wearing undies.

[2] Dominik García-Lorido will play a pivotal role in second season and if they stick to the original script – the Latina will be nude within first couple of episodes. She and Danny Evans @ Michael Corleone clone with be going at it in a hotel room after her return from Pan-Am-ming the sky. The death of her mother will lead Mercedes to a very sexual path as coping mechanism. Dominik owes Mitch a big one for letting her insert non-nudity clause but gloves and clothes are off for the second season. It’s all at preliminary stage but Dominik – who will be 30 next years – is apparently ready to display her natural funbags and in process takes the nudity pressure off Marais and those weirdly-shaped titties.
- in Episode 6 - Dominik’s Mercedes is topless and grinding her boy in the bed and when she gets up from bed to put on clothes. But in revised script – she is in white underclothes. 
- at least she compromised in season finale. Buck naked in shower scene with now (rumored) BF Christian Cooke. 

Starz is will also introduce a new female character and her casting could be a major surprise in first time nudity department.

Dominik first 'real' nude scene will not be as graphic as above pic but it will be pretty close...

Lauren Lake : Magic City Pilot Audition
http://youtu.be/TtlZNbW3g5E


Magic City Audition from raelene on Vimeo.


Camila Alves : auditioning for Magic City

The Magic City _ Camila Alves _ Audition for MERCEDES VALIENTE from DemoReel on Vimeo.


Camila Alves _ Audition for Vera _ The Magic City from DemoReel on Vimeo.


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Geek Goddess Jena Sims Talks About Shooting in 3D With Roger Corman’s Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader

Geek Goddess Jena Sims will be at the 2012 San Diego Comic Con to debut her new 3D film “Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader” which will release in August. Jena has appeared in shows raging from Entourage to Dexter as well as Leverge and The Vampire Diaries. Jena was kind enough to talk with us about her film, future projects and all things geek. I want to thank Kelli Jones of MLC PR for setting up this interview. Please Note!!! This is just a portion of the interview, the full interview will appear in the next issue of our magazine which is due out in July.

What inspired you to choose a career in film/TV; do you have any advice for people who are looking to get into the television and or film industry?
When I was 15, I started competing in pageants for scholarship money. That led me to compete at Miss Georgia Teen USA where I won, and advanced to the Miss Teen USA pageant which was telecast live on NBC. That was my first experience being an “on-camera” talent, not to mention primetime on NBC! It was such a rush and a thrill… I knew the minute I walked on stage that I wanted to pursue entertainment! My advice to anyone who might consider entertainment as a career: it is very tough industry in which to thrive. Get ready for lots of rejection and different opinions from complete strangers! It is also very important to have confidence in yourself. I wake up every day, look in the mirror, and tell myself that I can do this. I am going to be a successful actress. It is really important to believe in yourself, because if you don’t- then who will? Acting classes are also important!
Looking at “Cheerleader,” what can you tell us about your character and how you got the part?
I had JUST signed on to a new agency. This was my very first audition with them. I knew I wanted to be a part of the Roger Corman experience, because his legacy is famous for starting the careers of so many well known actors and actresses. I worked on my audition scenes with my coach Jeffrey Marcus, and once I felt like I had nailed this “Cassie” character, I went to the audition. My Mom was actually in town visiting. Maybe she was my good luck charm! The rest is history. I am so thankful to now be a part of Corman’s film family. My character is so fun. It is not your typical “ugly duckling turned beautiful swan” story. I start out as a nerd, with pimples and ratty hair- the whole nine yards, who just wants to please her mom by trying out for cheerleading and joining the sorority. Kyle, my best friend and fellow science nerd and I create this serum that I end up injecting myself with and as a side effect, I turn “pretty” but continue to grow and grow throughout the film. There is a fight between the antagonist and me at the end of the film- but I can’t tell you who wins!
What were some memorable moments from filming?
I met my new best friend on set. Olivia Alexander, who plays my arch enemy in the film, has actually become one of my best friends in real life! During the green screen filming portion, we had a former Ninja Turtle as a stunt coordinator. I can now say that I learned to fight from one of the original Ninja Turtles! Rad right? While we were prepping the fight scene, he would put his hands in a ball, circle them around, and tell us that he was sending us “energy balls” by air throwing them at us. We got such a kick out of it, that to this day we call each other up and ask if the other person is receiving the energy balls we send. It has progressed from energy balls to all kinds of balls- love balls, healing balls, confidence balls, you name it!
Was the film shot in 3D or converted in post production?
It was shot in 3D! I had to get used to the crew guys wearing the funny glasses all the time. They used a Red camera, I believe. It was huge!
How does making a 3D film differ from others and how was working with the FX element to the film?
I learned about the “3D moments” which are the ones that make you squirm in your seat in the theatre. It looks like whatever is on the screen is right in front of you, or being thrown at you. It is all about focusing on different objects. I think filming in 3D takes longer because of the focus. It has to be so precise.


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The Casserole Club (2011)
Website: www.casseroleclubmovie.com

THE CASSEROLE CLUB : Original Teaser Trailer

The Casserole Club is only 95 minutes long but when it finished I felt like I’d travelled a million miles. It ends with the Moon landing - well, a Moon landing - which is the third external event to intrude into the lives of its principal characters. In the first act, it’s the death of Judy Garland (22nd June 1969 to save you a trip to Wikipedia), in the middle act it’s the Charles Manson murders of Sharon Tate and others.

This seems a somewhat random trilogy of events from a year that wasn’t exactly short of significant happenings but in retrospect I think I see what Steve Balderson and screenwriter Frankie Krainz (who also penned Stuck!) are doing here. This is a film about a descent into chaos, a group of people becoming more and more self-obsessed, more and more detached from anything external to their plastic and astroturf world. So at the start, something as relatively innocuous as the accidental death of a famous film actress shocks them to the core. In contrast, their reaction to the horror of the Manson Family is almost blasé. And the final line about the Moon is, well, a stroke of genius, one of the great pay-off lines of indie cinema, a zinger that sent me scurrying to YouTube just to verify that the archive footage I had just seen was what I thought it was. Which it was.

The Boy Balderson has done it again. Another awesome film that is completely different to what he has done before yet fits into his overall body of work. If I didn’t rate this, I wouldn’t praise it. Seriously. I didn’t rate Steve’s work-for-hire belly-dancing documentary and I said so. But The Casserole Club is magnificent, another tour-de-force by the best kept secret in American cinema.

This is the tale of five couples in perfect Californian suburbia (for some value of perfect). It’s a world straight out of Better Homes and Gardens. Neatly trimmed hedges, tastefully arranged ornaments, modern but not radical furniture, pool in the back yard. No kids, no pets, no outside world. Absolutely no black people. A brief scene on a golf course is the only time we ever leave the street where these ten people live. Two other couples intrude briefly into this world but only to show how insular it has become. Punk poet Iris Berry in a non-speaking cameo role credited as ‘The Broad’ is the fifteenth and final member of the cast.

Tellingly, we are never given any clue as to what the husbands’ jobs might be. We don’t know if they even work together. But we know what the five women do. Though they may be different - innocent Marybelle, wild Florene, wholesome Kitty, wry Jerome, honest Sugar - they all live basically the same 1960s, middle class, WASP existence, cooking and cleaning for their husbands. They are - please forgive me, for I have been waiting nearly two hours to type this - disparate housewives.

Christ, that felt good.

Sugar (Susan Traylor: Firecracker, Stuck!) is the most organised, the one who conceives and convenes a casserole club, a regular get-together where each wife brings a dish and everyone votes (in a secret ballot) for which was best. She is married to Conrad (former Backstreet Boy Kevin Scott Richardson), known as ‘Connie’, a thin, arrogant bastard who believes that “A man’s job is to be horny” and who lavishes more love on his stupid, trim moustache than he does on his hot wife.

Florene’s (Balderson regular Pleasant Gehman) husband is Burt (Hunter Bodine: Starship Troopers, Flying Virus) and they’re a totally liberated couple, entirely suited to each other and enjoying the benefits of the swinging sixties in a very literal way. In direct contrast are Kitty (Starina Johnson: Watch Out, Stuck!) and her husband Sterling (co-producer Garrett Swann), who don’t even share a bed. Not through any tension or frigidity, it’s just how comfortable they are with each other. Florene and Burt are very public in their displays of affection; Kitty and Sterling are just as overt but more discrete. But both relationships seem to be based on mutual respect, certainly much more so than Sugar and Connie.

Marybelle (acclaimed stage actress Jennifer Grace who gets an ‘and introducing’) is concerned about her make-up but through insecurity, not vanity, while her husband Max (Michael Maize: National Treasure 2, Power Rangers in Space) seems a straight-down-the-line guy: not as callous as Connie, not as blatant as Burt and not as starched as Sterling. Finally there’s Jerome (Daniela Sea: The L Word), who is something of a lush, and her honest, regular husband Leslie (Mark Booker: Watch Out and a horror movie called Bane which isn’t this one) who tries his best to fit in with this crowd even though he obviously doesn’t, in his heart of hearts, fit in.

Trying to sum up each of these characters in a few adjectives and the occasional noun is a hiding to nothing because they are all too complex. And as we discover over 95 minutes how complex they were to start with, they get more complex still, both individually and in the way they relate to each other.

This is a film about fucked-up people who hide their fucked-upness behind their painted walls and painted smiles but who find, when their fucked-upness starts to leak out, just how much more fucked-up they can become.

The film could have been called Three Parties and an Aftermath (though I’m glad it wasn’t). The whole of the first act, a full half-hour, is that first casserole club get-together. It all starts innocently enough but the scotch and the martinis are flowing and gradually things get more, well, bawdy. There is discussion over the dessert of why ‘cunt’ is such an emotive word. There is no male equivalent suggests one husband but another argues that the male equivalent is ‘fag’ and there is some etymological discussion of both words. This sequence will pay off later in at least two different ways.

After dinner, there’s games which become more physical until, when Kitty’s tits accidentally fall out of her dress, she decides it’s time for a midnight skinny-dip and finally the flood-gates are opened (Ms. Johnson has the unnerving ability to fool you into thinking that she is not acting. Her character Kitty, whose breasts serve as the catalyst for the film’s sexual gymnastics, is the very model of self-deceptive housewifery, and Ms. Johnson makes her self-contradictions and -deceptions seem very, very authentic, particularly in a scene in which she is concocting what looks like an inesculent casserole and prattling on with her closeted gay husband. If Proteus were female, her name would be Starina Johnson.). Bodies writhe together, in and out of the pool. We can’t always see who is with who but the point is not so much the individual pairings, rather the variety. It’s the breakdown of civilisation - or as close as anyone could get to civilisation in the artificial, teflon-coated hell of 1960s Californian suburbia.

And in the morning, things have changed but people try to pretend that they haven’t. They sheepishly don their underwired bras and their tighty-whity underpants and head home to carry on as normal. Unwisely, the Casserole Club decide to meet again, to try one more time to have a civil, civilised dinner party. But Florene has other ideas. What happened in Act One was normal for her and Burt; they don’t see the harm. So instead of a casserole, Florene has baked some very unusual cookies as appetisers. They’re delicious, quite more-ish: “Oh my, is that ginger I taste?”

No, of course it isn’t (though Steve and Frankie have enough sense not to explicitly state anything: show, don’t tell).

And so it all happens again, only more so. People push the envelope that bit further. Some enjoy it, some think they enjoy it, some don’t understand how much they enjoy it, maybe some don’t enjoy it. In among the almost random coupling and cross-coupling, Max and Sugar are locked away, locked together. He’s a real man, giving her what Connie can’t while Connie is giving it to others beside the pool.

Now everything has changed, now the sense of denial has metamorphosed, dangerously, oh so dangerously, into a sense of acceptance. Now these people believe they’re fucking invincible.

That first party was a full half-hour (less a few minutes for the opening titles), the second is 20 minutes, now things start moving faster. A third party. New people introduced into the group (one of them is Balderson’s lucky charm, pop goddess Jane Wiedlin). Some accept the strangers, some don’t like the idea. The strangers themselves don’t all realise what’s going on at first. It’s out of control. It’s more, faster, better, worse, pushing the limits, pushing every limit, pushing people over the edge. We know it’s going to end badly. And it does.

The third act is the shortest of the three as everyone comes to terms with the consequences of their actions. Or doesn’t. For some it’s self-loathing, for others it’s just loathing. And for other’s it’s arguably just self.

People have been changed forever, to greater or lesser degrees, but no-one is the same. Some people have become further trapped in the world they have created for themselves, others finally see a way to escape. It hasn’t killed them so it must have made them stronger. Some couples are further apart, some are closer. Nobody is the same. And there’s the Apollo Lunar Module, that step onto the surface, those words. No, not those words, those other words.

And the viewer leans back, exhausted, feeling like he or she has also been through something and also come out the other side. I honestly can’t see how anyone could walk away from this powerful, emotionally draining film without a head full of thoughts fighting for space, ideas clashing like gladiator’s swords.

The cast are uniformly magnificent and work together brilliantly. Steve’s direction is faultless. Rob Kleiner’s score is literally note-perfect, seamlessly blended with a selection of spot-on faux-sixties songs. Production design, costumes, hair and make-up, all exactly right. That is, I assume they’re right for the period (I was one, and several thousand miles away, in 1969) but I know they’re right for the film.

This is a Steve Balderson joint after all and if there’s one thing that unites Steve’s movies it’s a very slightly heightened reality. It’s a mixture of design, script and camera-work all just turned up to, if not eleven, maybe ten and a half. It was there in Pep Squad, in Firecracker, in Watch Out, in Stuck!; it's what was missing from Underbelly; it’s very definitely there in The Casserole Club. From the opening shot, Steve’s photography is colour-drenched, creating a world that’s not just technicolour but effectively Technicolor. There’s nothing pastel here, just blocks of vibrant colour: the clothes, the furniture, the water ... the skin...

This is also, it must be said, Steve’s most erotic film to date. It’s powerfully passionate, driving forward, like the best illicit sex, with a sense that no matter how bad it is it’s going to happen anyway because it’s also fucking good, it’s all so fucking good.

Steve’s a respectable, clean-living, God-fearing Kansas boy (and so’s his boyfriend) but if the indie film-making gig ever ends there’ll be a career for him somewhere making high-class soft porn (gay or straight) because he knows how to turn an audience on. The Casserole Club is a dish best served hot.

And as before, the only reason I’m not giving this A+ is because I want to see what Steve Balderson can come up with that is even better. 

The five couples are as follows (note the gender ambiguities): Sugar (Susan Traylor) and Connie (Kevin Scott Richardson); Jerome (the elegant Daniela Sea of THE L WORD) and Leslie (Mark Booker); Kitty (Starina Johnson) and Sterling (Garrett Swann); Florene (Pleasant Gehman) and Burt (Hunter Bodine); Max (Michael Maize) and Marybelle (Jennifer Grace)

Jennifer Grace and Kevin Richardson

Pleasant Gehman

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Sunny Leone get steamy

The first still of Sunny Leone and Arunoday Singh's romantic sequence has been unveiled. While Sunny Leone's chemistry with Randeep Hooda was sizzling hot, she looks equally good with Arunoday Singh. A topless Arunoday caresses seductress Sunny clad in a fiery red outfit. In Jism Leone plays Izna, a seductress. Randeep Hooda plays Kabir, who can be described as the warrior, and Arunoday Singh plays Ayaan, who can be described as the swashbuckler. It's a love triangle.
The film directed by Pooja Bhatt went to floors on April 1. The last schedule of the film was wrapped up in Sri Lanka recently.
”There are a lot of aspects in me that are similar to the character I'm portraying on screen. She is a very complex person with different shades. I don't think that the character is someone that reflects my current life at this time, but there are a lot of situations in the film that are similar to my past. There is a huge sense of loss this character goes through, and I believe that most women and men have gone through this whether in relationships or family. My character is trying to find her way, the right way, but goes through a lot in her mind to figure it out," Sunny Leone had told HindustanTimes.com.

Sunny Leone and Arunoday Singh get steamy for Jism 2

The film that releases on August 3 has Sunny Leone, Randeep Hooda and Arunoday Singh as main leads.

Actor Randeep Hooda, who is busy shooting for his upcoming erotic movie JISM 2, says that he got exhausted after shooting a love making scene with co-star Sunny Leone.
Tweeted Randeep on the social networking site saying, "Just finished a major love making scene for @Jism2 . Extreme, exhausting and exhilarating. Hope we can turn people "on" all over with it ;))" 
Directed by Pooja Bhatt, JISM 2 marks the debut of porn star Sunny Leone in Bollywood and also features Arunoday Singh in the lead role.

10 Things You Should Know About Sunny Leone

1. She was studying to be a pediatric nurse in Orange County before she was introduced to Jay Allen, a photographer for Penthouse magazine. There was obviously no looking back after she was named Penthouse Pet of the Month in March 2001.

2. When Leone signed her first contract for working in pornographic films, she maintained that she would only perform with women. But soon was taking facials - the type man prefers to see on a woman. 

3. She made a guest appearance in the 2004 teen flick ‘The Girl Next Door’.

4. In 2004, she was part of ‘No More Bush Girls’, in which she and several other popular porn actresses including Angel Cassidy, Lisa Boyle shaved off their pubic hair in support of the anti-Bush campaign.

5. She was reportedly enrolled in a Catholic school because her parents thought it would be unsafe for her to go to a public school due to her Sikh upbringing.

6. Her first real job was at a German Bakery, when she was 15 years of age.

7. In 2005, Leone made her first mainstream appearance. She was the red carpet reporter for the MTV Awards on MTV India.

8. Her second movie, titled ‘Virtual Vivid Girl Sunny Leone’, fetched her her first AVN Award, which is considered to be the “Oscars of porn.”

9. In 2010, she was adjudged as one of the 12 top female stars in porn by leading men’s magazine, Maxim.

10. Leone was engaged to Matt Erikson, a vice-president of marketing at the famous Playboy Enterprises. The duo has broken up now, but both are, reportedly, great friends in spite of it.

Exclusive Interview with Sunny Leone Interview

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Porn star 'Penny Flame' takes back her real name, turns her life around

Jennie Ketcham tells of life in rehab house with Denis Rodman, Heidi Fleiss and Tom Sizemore

In 2009, porn star Penny Flame arrives at the Adult Video News Awards Show in Las Vegas. Now, she just goes by Jennie.

PORN STAR Penny Flame schemed for a place on the VH1 reality show, “Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew.” She wanted fame and the fans that came with it. But she changed profoundly, and came away determined to escape the degradations of the porn industry. She also started using her real name, Jennie Ketcham. In her new book, “I Am Jennie,” she describes how she faced the cameras again, this time as a sex addict committed to recovery on “Sober House with Dr. Drew.” This time, things didn’t go so well. Were producers undermining their celebrity guests, hoping to catch a relapse on film?

BY JENNIE KETCHAM

Copyright © 2012 by Jennie Ketcham. From the forthcoming book I AM JENNIE by Jennie Ketcham to be published by Gallery Books, a Division of Simon and Schuster, Inc. Printed by permission.

I WANDERED OUT onto the wraparound patio of Sober House to have my first cigarette. There, I met other houseguests including actor Tom Sizemore who was going on sixty days clean after having participated in “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.” As we sat smoking, we were joined by Heidi Fleiss, a former madam, ex-convict, and recovering meth user, who was also Tom’s ex-girlfriend and had filed assault charges against him during the time they were together.
She was wearing tattered sweatpants and an oversize man’s T-shirt that had been fashioned into a tank top.
“Who are you?” Heidi asked me, smiling and chewing green pistachios with an open mouth.
“Jennie,” I replied, pulling on my smoke and trying to act like I had as much of a right to be there as she did.
Tom shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
“No, I mean who are you,” she said. “Are you famous? What are you famous for? This is a show for celebrities right?”
Her tone was laced with insult.
Tom leaned back in his seat nervously.
“I guess I’m famous for being a whore?” I said. “I used to be a porn star.”
As I confessed, I took a drag from my smoke and tried to keep my hand steady. This woman made me incredibly uneasy.
“Oh,” she said.
Just like that, it seemed that the standoff was over. She turned and shuffled off toward the glass door. When she reached the threshold, she pivoted and turned back to us.
“I know a whole lot of whores,” she said smiling wickedly at Tom. “What was your porn name?”
“Penny Flame,” I said. “It was Penny Flame. Now Jennie will do just fine.”
A feeling of regret surged through my body that I had introduced the character of Penny Flame to Heidi Fleiss, the Hollywood Madam.
When she was out of sight, Tom finally exhaled. It seemed he’d been holding his breath the entire time. I could sympathize.
When Dennis Rodman showed up at the house later that day, it was like a real live Hollywood star had arrived.

Technically, to earn a place there, we were all celebrities of a sort. But Mike Starr, the former Alice in Chains bassist, was too insecure from years of drug abuse to have any starlike confidence. Tom was still finding his footing in sobriety, and was quietly tiptoeing around the Heidi situation. And Heidi’s focus on p------ Tom off — and she was very good at it, no matter how much Tom tried to pretend everything was fine — detracted from her potential star quality.
Dennis Rodham was a different story altogether. He started making demands while he was still in the driveway. He refused to sign the no-drinking contract, protested the location of the beds, and waved away suggestions that he should come into the house and settle down.
He finally joined the other roommates on the patio, just as the sun began to dip into the Pacific Ocean.
I summoned my courage to ask him about his star quality.
“Ahh, all drama for the camera, little one,” he said.
It’s true that reality television cannot get by on peace and harmony. With an eye toward making some riveting TV ourselves, Dennis, Mike, and I decided to go out to a club and create a tense scene that would leave the impression we were going to relapse. I figured that, as cocktail waitresses passed by, we’d give them some pensive, unsure looks. And then, even though we were never really in danger of relapsing, the commercial for the show could tease the episode by making it appear that we’d had a truly difficult time maintaining our sobriety.
Dr. Drew had no idea of our plot, nor did Production. I was totally surprised when girls began walking over to us with free vodka Red Bulls. Dennis was not impressed.
“They’re going to have to do way better than that to tempt me to drink,” he said. “Look, it’s all Production buying the drinks.”
It seemed like it must be true. Toward the end of the night, we confronted the production crew about whether they’d tried to derail our sober evening, but nobody admitted to sending the cocktail girls our way.
On another night, we left Sober House as a group, packed into a giant white van for an evening at Pimai It’s Tai. On the way down the hill, Seth (Shifty Shellshock) Binzer, frontman of the rap band Crazy Town who had been treated multiple times on Dr. Drew shows for his crack problem, said something that made me nervous.
“I’m good this time, I think,” he said. “I’m gonna follow the rules.”
“It’s okay to break the rules,” Gia, one of the field producers, said.
“You mean you’re not,” I said to Seth.
“Jennie,” I told him coldly, squaring my jaw to Gia as if preparing for a knockout battle. This show was turning out to be nothing like “Sex Rehab,” and I didn’t feel like I could trust the producers to have our best interests at heart like I had trusted the producers on “Sex Rehab.”
I was p----- at the producers who had been around other times Seth had appeared on recovery shows, and yet with each appearance, had fallen further and further into addiction. I wondered if they subtly encouraged him to break the rules the entire time and if this had contributed to his chronic relapsing. If the crew had been whispering dirty little encouragements to him, it put the entire house at risk for relapsing; worse yet, it made the show feel like a farce. I wanted authenticity, self-discovery, total breakdowns, and a safe place to rebuild. Production intentionally throwing obstacles at us to make good television was nothing more than just that: television.
Once we reached Pimai, I tried to let the spicy yellow curry and Thai iced tea wash away my resentment, but when the bill came and we’d been charged for a bottle of sake, I lost my cool. I looked directly into the camera.
“Who the f--- is drinking sake?” I said.
Production hated it when we looked directly into the camera, because it rendered the shot useless. I looked around the restaurant for someone I recognized drinking booze.
Just then I saw Gia and her assistant toss back shots of Nigori sake. I continued to look directly into the camera as I spoke.
“Gia and her sidekick are drinking at that table” I said. “And they put the bottle on our tab? I cannot believe that bitch.”
I threw the bill and my money on the table and walked outside to smoke. As I paced furiously, Gia ran out to the parking lot and tried to explain what had happened.
“We weren't actually drinking the sake, Jennie, okay?” she said.
I felt my face heating up with rage as I heard her deny what I had seen with my own eyes. She tried to stand close to me but I spun away from her.
“Listen, bitch, I’m not coming down off heroin or crack,” I said. “I’m as sober and clear-eyed as I’ve ever been in my whole life, and I saw you and your little f------ buddy taking shots of sake. You really couldn’t wait a few more hours until you were off work? Really?”
“I know, I shouldn’t have been drinking,” Gia said in a hushed voice as she looked around for witnesses to her admission of guilt.
“You shouldn’t have been drinking?” I screamed. “I don’t give a f--- what you do on your own time, but you have the nerve to get sauced while you film a show about staying sober? You’ve got a problem, lady. Get away from me.”

When we returned to the house, Gia resumed her “It didn’t happen” stance and I called Bruce, the head producer. I was so upset that after I told him what had happened, our conversation blurred into anger and tears on my part until Bruce agreed to keep Gia away from me. I crawled helplessly into my bed and pulled the sheets over my head. It was pathetic that she needed to drink, pathetic that I felt I couldn’t be near her and be safe.
The next day in therapy with Drew, I angrily laid into him about Gia’s bad behavior.
“Why is Production allowed to ruin our progress?” I said. “I wanted to be in a sober house, Dr. Drew. Not this f------ mess where the crew is allowed to violate everything that I work to maintain.”
Drew nodded and kept composed, although it was clear to me that he was not pleased with the story I had told him about Gia’s behavior.
“It won’t happen again, I promise. And if I hear about Production causing any problems like this, there will be serious issues. You are my patient. I have your back, Jennie.”
It was after another rough night that I caught a glimpse of my naked body in the mirror. As I did so, I realized that I’d been avoiding looking at myself naked since I got out of rehab and porn. I’d avoided looking at my face in the mirror or making eye contact with myself, and suddenly I realized why I’d quit spending hours in front of my reflection, as I’d once done when I was getting ready for porn shoots.
I was so afraid that I wouldn’t recognize the person looking back at me. But in the very moment that I finally dared to look at myself, I knew who the naked girl in the mirror was, with her emotions as much of a tangled and confusing mess as her hair was right now. Even if I didn’t understand every part of that girl in the mirror, at least I knew her name.
I knew what she stood for. I was starting to know her boundaries. I put my hands on the counter and pressed my nose to the mirror. When my breath fogged up the glass, I closed my eyes and whispered three words that were just for myself.
“I am Jennie,” I said.
"I am Jennie" can be purchased at online bookstores like Amazon.com.

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